Death cafes aren’t anything new, but they are becoming more popular in virtual form due to the current pandemic. They may sound creepy but, like this blog, they are a space where people can come together and discuss an uncomfortable topic. They are a safe space to ask questions and work out thoughts and feelings about the inevitable fact of our mortality. Here’s a good article I found about this growing trend.

I enjoyed this article from Kevin MD about a pilot who was in total control about how to proceed after his cancer diagnosis. He knew all of his options, had all the facts, and made an informed decision. The article is an excerpt from the patient’s book Between Life and Death.

I must confess I haven’t completed everything I have advised folks to do in my book. I have done most of it though, and one thing I have done is to choose what will be done with my cremains.

I have decided to use a bio urn for my ashes. A Bio urn is a biodegradable urn that can be planted in a place of your choice, although you do need to determine the statutes that apply to your community. The one I plan to use is from Bios Urn, These come with tree seeds that will be fed by the minerals of your ashes as it grows and the urn biodegrades. I have already gotten permission from the Trustee Board at my church to be planted in the Prayer Garden. I’m still trying to decide the best type of tree for the space.

This company also has urns for pets, and planters for your cremains if you want to grow in a loved one’s home or on their patio. The possibilities are endless!

If you have already made your cremation plans, ask them about the availability of cemeteries in your area that are accepting of bio urns.

 

I am what’s known as a “late bloomer.” I dropped out of high school, married at 19 and was a mom when I was barely 20. My second son was born when I was 22 and I was divorced by the age of 29. My second marriage lasted 8 years and I decided then that my husband-picking skills were highly deficient and decided not to do that any more. I raised my sons by working as a waitress, bartender, and even drove an ice cream truck because my second husband thought that would be a great career choice. Lol.

At 38 I took a chance and applied to the local community college. I was fortunate to have qualified for a grant from local corporations that paid all my expenses for my AS degree in Office Management. I was excited to get a “real” job at a local hospital as a secretary. I had been encouraged by a professor to continue my education so I enrolled at the local university and earned a degree in Community Health. That got me a promotion to coordinator of the hospital’s senior adult program.

About that time I became interested in the intersection between spirituality and health which led me to enroll in seminary where I earned a Master’s degree in Christian Ministry at the age of 50. From there I began to work as a hospice chaplain and bereavement coordinator which I did for 9 years until a serious fall broke my humerus almost completely through. That took 2 major surgeries and almost 2 years to heal.

I also serve my local church as Assistant Pastor where I assist in the traditional worship service and primarily provide care and support to our homebound and older folks. I lead bereavement classes as the need arises.

I told you all that to tell you this. This high school dropout has been continually wooed and led by the One who created her, little step by little step. Had I known where I was going I would never have had the confidence or the guts to even begin so I believed that each step was my permanent goal. God has blessed me and provided for me throughout my journey and the latest stop is this little book.

One of my best things, though, is that both my sons married amazing women and I have seven gorgeous and brilliant grandchildren. Life is good.

Why The Terminal, you ask? This site was created to accompany my first book, A Graceful and Grace-filled Exit, how to leave this life in style and do it your way. We are all terminal but we tend not to want to think about that. A terminal is also a departure and/or arrival point. The purpose of the book is to help folks think about many aspects of life and death, and how to have as much control of the process as possible. It’s available on Amazon.com, you should go buy it.

https://www.amazon.com/Graceful-Grace-filled-Exit-leave-style/dp/165423334X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1592588981&sr=8-1

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

Precisely because nobody wants to talk or even think about it, generally. And yet, we’re all gonna die some day. As a hospice chaplain I was witness to too many deaths that were way harder than they needed to be on everyone concerned because nobody would talk about things that needed to be. I hope to make this a comfortable place for talking about difficult things so that some of that needless trauma can be avoided and replaced with graceful exits.